Relationship Patterns

Have you noticed the same patterns repeating over and over? Or do you settle for less because your relational blueprint has left you carrying the emotional burden? I see this all the time with my clients and friends.

Here’s an example: You’re used to doing everything alone—no help, just surviving on your own—and you’ve grown accustomed to that. This is likely due to developmental attachment trauma, where your emotional needs were not met, and you learned to be “strong” to mask the agony of rejection or lack of support. As a result, you unconsciously choose partners who do the bare minimum because you don’t recognize the pattern you’re repeating—accepting the same emotional neglect from partners that you experienced with your parents.

This is not your fault, but if you find yourself doing all the work in relationships, it’s a clue about the relationship blueprint you’ve been carrying. Unraveling this pattern is best done with the guidance of a skilled therapist or coach who can help you identify the blind spots you can’t see on your own.

Here’s the tricky part: You can’t see your blind spots. And as long as you attract the same type of partners, they won’t show you those blind spots either. Instead, they will reinforce the same developmental trauma, deepening the groove of the pattern. Without help, we can’t recognize what isn’t within our awareness.

I hope this helps.